![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:05 • Filed to: None | ![]() | ![]() |
I...
I...
I... don’t even care anymore. It doesn’t hurt me.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:09 |
|
“Good luck. I look forward to the frantic messages left on my answering machine.”
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:09 |
|
Welp, you can’t argue with logic like that.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:13 |
|
Man this hurts just reading it on the internet...I’ve worked with several very talented DBA’s their worth their weight in gold.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:13 |
|
My old bank refused to hire a proper DBA. So we never had a database, just a series of huge Excel spreadsheets that got manually smushed together and hope for the best. This is fine when it works (with small data sets). But now that I ’ m in a megabank, running a database without a DBA would be suicide. In fact, in our regulated environment, they simply wouldn ’ t allow it.
Star for the Scanners gif.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:17 |
|
Look. Anyone can manage a database
To be fair, when you consider the competence of your average DBA; this isn’t exactly a false statement.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:19 |
|
All your database are belong to us
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:20 |
|
You’ll probably want to keep a copy of this handy...
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:24 |
|
What? Any dolt who knows how to use Excel can run your database.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:25 |
|
“Don’t computers do that sort of thing now?”
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:28 |
|
Yeah, this is right up there with: “We should outsource marketing and start building trust with our brand right away.”
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:32 |
|
You mean they won’t allow it yet. But don’t worry, once america is made great again, all those annoying regulations will be history, and ALL banks can go back to spreadsheets, no matter how big they are!
So, what do you think we’ll use as currency after the global monetary system is destroyed? I’m betting on pennies. Everyone has pennies.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:37 |
|
Ass pennies. And all the gold hoarders will learn their ounces are worth about a box of ammo, or maybe a stack of Hustlers with the pages stuck together.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 16:40 |
|
All businesses that provide some kind of product or service that is not IT, view IT as roughly equal to paying to keep the lights on.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 17:19 |
|
I’ve more or less resigned myself to the fact that, like half the places I’ve worked, I’ll have to maintain my own personal databases and just have to take satisfaction in saying “I told you so” when everything goes to shit.
![]() 07/11/2017 at 17:19 |
|
I’ve learned to filter out DBA résumés by looking for the Oracle Certified Professional logo. Its presence in one indicates that the applicant can count to potato.